Mask

The second line has to be the worst grasping for a rhyme I have seen in my life.

the rhyming definitely distracts the reader from whatever this poem is trying to convey.
it's free verse, so free it up and let the words out.

Honey, I feel and share your hurt. You have a basis here for a good poem. Sometimes I cannot critique
in the proper way, so with your forgiveness, I have
written the poem another way - as a learning tool - your words are always yours.



I'm not so happy, I fake it all
All I desire is never have to crawl.
Whenever I laugh or smile,
it's fake enough to see for a mile.
They laughed and made fun of me,
without the courage to look in and see
my thoughts, my feelings, my heart.
My grades were bad, but I knew I was smart.
When tears rolled down my face,
they tied me with frayed and dirty lace.
"Tie her hands first", they yell.
Bury her in flowers so won't smell.
As I listened to all of their plan,
they took off my mask, I was a man.
"Don't hurt him, they said, he's a boy.
As they untied me and me aside,
"How about her. Let's all decide."
Prejudice came to live with me that day,
that's all that, now I nothing more to say.

poop, its................poop

dreary rubbish.

Fabulously bad.