Sasha10 May 2004

A form all your own, elements of the interlocking Rubyat, the Terza Rima and so much else.

I have one solitary gripe: The penultimate line.

The rhyme (...and did forget...) seems forced here. "And forgot" seems more natural although I understand sacrificing sense to sound. An awkward construction with an auxillary verb instead of a smoothe preterite seems out of place here.

However that sole fault is not reason enough not to give you a -10-