zodiac2 Jun 2004

This poem is practically unfinishable. Sure, you have about triple the average poemranker use-vocabulary, but this is all compound main and subordinate clauses jammed together higgledy-piggledy. It needs about ten more periods, and it needs to lose that awful "Present participling through something, I present indicative myself" sentence construction - and any clauses that begin with "As" as well. I'm wondering, have you tried to read this out loud? And I don't think "From pages of Larkin I pondered On the bleakness" is a valid way of saying that.