god'swife23 Jun 2004

what are '...habit fingernails'? Does this mean there bitten? Or you've been injecting under them? I think if you left out that line, and just left the first two, it would be more haunting an intro.

what have calendar blots to do with Mecca or skirmished hopes, your not showing enough. I like the next part and the stanza that follows. I also like your use of simile 'cynics...like needles' for example.

Considering you've used over 100 words, don't you thiink the last line is out of place? Even if you don't it's flat and boring.