poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on Xansis by jonnyduk.

god'swife30 Jun 2004

It has a nature theme as it should, unlike most haikus on ranker, but the rhyme kills it. Try inverting the line;

like splinters...cliffs.

Since a haiku is so small to begin with it seems strange to use up syllables with words like and & but.