Tintagiles24 Sep 2004

For some reason I can't bring myself to think the last stanza fits. Though I love the 'Kissed her lips on the ashes of blossom'. For some reason it doesn't seem to work rhythmically. Also, while the whole wheel of time moving around, as was done before so shall be done again, etc theme works (i.e. you kissing your lover where your parents kissed etc.), it seems a touch clichéd. It makes me think too much of 'Songs my Mother Taught Me' in that respect.

There's also the fact that I sort of would have liked it if you'd found a way of ending it without bringing yourself into play. 8 for now because I'm a miserable shite and the score's high enough as it is already.