poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on Nightmares Of Yesterday by Zalev.

PsydewaysTears8 Jan 2005

The title's catchy. And I liked the intro and the final two stanzas... the rest of it though, kinda lost its flare somewhere admidst "mom said I was drunk" and "please stop my sin". Maybe I just wanted to be pulled more into your mind's reactions than just given a dictation of events.... and maybe some metaphorical images to bounce off of would've been nice too. And one of those tiny little umbrellas for my pina colada, if it's not too much trouble.

•°•Gregory James•°•