durr_T_hip_E22 Mar 2005

Good...very good overall... nice approach; i like how you maintained mystery in meaning until the last few lines. i love the perspective, very creative, unique...and, i love the message.

Here's why you got an 8 instead of a 10...you, are obviously a poet, and a decent one at that; yet, at least in this piece, your eyes and ears are not poets - the propositions within the quotes are the bulk of the foundation, yet, the things that break your rhythm as we read it...my only suggestion, if you were looking for any, would be to play with the things you have the eyes and ears saying to see if you can smooth them in with the rest of the vervish beat.

peace,

sean