poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on Moments (or) Suicide by Dovina.

thepinkbunnyofdoom8 Apr 2005

Last stanza, 2nd to last line, "as" seems like unneeded filler. Same with S2 L1. Last few lines seem a little convoluted. I get your meaning, but... there has got to be a better way of getting your point across.