god'swife31 Aug 2002

Difficult for me to vote on your poems. As an exercise in writing they rank high, but as something finished they do not. You've got plenty of accurate imagery, but what the specific point and/or points are is never clear. I keep looking for some insight on lust because of the title but I find none. I don't mind someone mixing metaphors,but yours change from line to line, and I can't follow. I believe art has a duty to be iconoclastic, but for me it seems you use the absurd image for masturbatory reasons rather then for expression. For example ---One-eyed crossaint butterer-- just appears to be more of a statemnet about how clever you are then a statement about class or society, or anything else for that matter. That entire stanza reminds me of deep-fried beaver pellets stuffed with chocolate ice-cream covered sardines. I mean yah, that's some impressive cooking. but who's gonna be satisfied? You have above average talent and obviously have your finger on the pulse of invisible forgotten realties, but you don't make enough sense. Again as an exercise in writing this gets a 10, but as far as being poetic it rates a 4.