zodiac29 Apr 2005

The line "that paint deserts golden pink" doesn't seem connected to any of the rest of the poem. And I don't even know if it's true.

"Settling" should probably be "settle".

Samson and Delilah doesn't really fit, since you're getting your hair cut (i.e., you're Samson) but it's not making you weak (i.e., like it did Samson).

The last two lines are great and well-broken. Make the two lines leading into them stronger. You don't need to say "I've shorn myself for the summer" for so long, since you've already said it and better. Think of something else. -10-.