DoubleU10 May 2005

I have no improvements in mind, it's just that I have learned that when you use a word or a conception, a notion more than once, it's better to look for synonyms. Now here the repetition of 'otherland' is functional, don't change those lines, but in your other poem the many 'darknesses' irred me. An alternative? Hm, er, well, er, 'Blackness'? 'Nothingness'? 'That place where they shot the moon and the stars out of the sky'?...