INTRANSIT31 May 2005

Most suicide writers say "I'm gonna kill myself". So, this being written in 2nd person, I think makes it better than the normal suicide schlock we're accustomed to. Maybe stanza two can be expounded on to help bring more of the subjects person into the picture. Most of the poem is blood being cleaned up. I'd like to see more hurt/cause. I think circuit could be used.