Blue Magpie14 Jun 2005

I think you have made a good attempt here, to describe something that is worthy of poetry. However it needs a little work. Have you actually read the Koran, Mohammod teaches great respect for women, the attitude of Islamic men depicted here, derives from the pre-mohammadan culture (I Recommend "The Arab Mind" by Raphael Patai), so some mention of the need for forgiveness and understanding that mohammad taught might have been better than than line 2 as it is.

Disease might be better than virus, because it is more encompassing.

fear.(,)
Not(neither) humiliation or disgrace,
pain, or (the)memory of his face;

There is nothing poetic in the modern trend to simple leave words out, I mean words that grammatically should be there, such as the definite and indefinite articles , in fact it makes a sentence look ugly.

injury as a robbers act,
the injury as a robber's act,

to cast her out for Allah’s good.
to be cast her out for Allah’s blessing.

Any Muslem would tell you no man can do something for the good of God, God is already as good as it is possible to be. They do things in God's name, or in order to satisfy God's commands