poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on A Message from my Dreams by Joshua_Tree.

Blue Magpie19 Jun 2005

An interesting variation on the two main rhyme schemes. You seem to get a bit lost in the words in the middle, and in line 8 the words "She directs" are not iambic. However the biggest problem, technically is in the last line where 'hangs on' is a serious miss step, giving you a 'dum dum' where you need a 'dum da'.