ALChemy11 Sep 2005

I rarely score.

Besides a score is 20 and the ranks only go to 10.

How do you pronounce "mirror"? 'Cause when I say it, it doesn't even remotely rhyme with "tears". Try "terror".

This poem is half finished. You've got the thoughts and feelings laid out but you need to develop an approach and style that is uniquely you and doesn't sound like every other rehab poem. The idea of the person in the mirror being a different you is a good approach but still quite cliche'. If you were to actually do a dialogue where the mirror talks back (Like "Quote the mirror. Nevermore.") then that might grab our attention. Right now what you seem to have is journal poetry. Poetry used for purposes focused on the author and not the reader. Read some Edgar Allan Poe. He'll help you find the fear, addiction, and psychological struggle you want to express.