ALChemy26 Nov 2005
Did you notice every line in your poem is written as a seperate sentence. Caps at the beginning. MS Word?
You need to get personal. Say things that are unique to your situation or perspective. We have no idea who the hell you're talking to. A lover? A friend? A man? A woman? Michael Jackson? Who?
Don't try to write a poem for everyone. If you do it will always turn out the same way. Hokey.