Sisterwolf28 Dec 2005

I am setting myself for a blast from others, but -
this really isn't bad - a little forced, but it does
have the flavor of English poets of Blake's era. Personally, I love that kind of poetry, but you take a real risk posting it where it isn't seen in its best light.
And would that I could leave him!


"He, whose tone has pierced me through;
Clad in white and softly smiling,
With my tender heart left writhing,
As these shameless tears renew."

I would have put a comma after left - to emphasize
writhing, but that's me, not you.
This verse I chose was really strong, could
use some tweaking, but it is very good.
"And so, young poet, clad in black,
merely a few things your words do lack.
Hone thy skills with grace and labor,
that they might not be smote with tabor."