zodiac8 Jan 2006

And none of those are how Shakespeare would have written it.

You mean for the dress to be the sarong that she's painting, right? Then put a comma after sarong. That sounds good. For my money, the punctuation goes:

Swallows announce the end of yesterday.
The morning girl awakens to their song.
Her crayola sunrise paints over the gray
of fading night to dawn a bright sarong,
a flower-sprinkled emerald dress
that stretches to the horizon’s hem
and ripples in a warm wind’s caress:
A playground for the cherubim.

“Oh, Uncle Moon, please play with me
while the day’s still shining bright?”
“I’m so tired but I’ll try Sweetpea.”
And the moon missed work that night.