ALChemy23 Jan 2006

Griefs not grieves in line 1.
Use a double line space instead of "..." after "Still you"
Lose the "..." after "All this time what I have done".
Either "through millions of tears fallen on
This ocean of time. It can be something
to see me now" or-
"though a million tears has fallen on
This ocean of time, it can be something
to see me now"

You are definately improving though.