god'swife25 Jan 2006

Metaphors sweetie, metaphors. As sweet as...
Thin like....etc.

Also 'laid' rhymes enough with 'plain' that you don't need to use the word 'lain'. When i read that line I laughed, and that doesn't seem to be your intention.
Also what does rhythm have to do with feeling emotions?

If this poem is about something you have experienced then write about what happened to make you feel this way about him.