Ranger24 Feb 2006

Yes, it is certainly an improvement - I really am glad you took out 'fields of love'. Keep adding to this as you think up new images - as I've said, originality is the key.
Now, you will probably want to kick me for saying this, but in my opinion the content would be improved if the faith aspect was toned down a little. I'm not saying do away with it - the poem's obviously centred around it - but I think that it would make it easier for you to invent around if you toned down the theology somewhat; this would also allow for more creative poetry. However, I also think you should wait for other people to give you feedback, because others might disagree with me on this point.
Keep up the good work!