ALChemy26 Feb 2006

You might have mixed someone elses comment with mine while reading my comment. I'm not asking you to change the rhyme scheme or any of your stanzas. I'm only saying you should add a stanza after every few stanzas of speach that is something other than the speach so that you can break the monotony of the speach. Right now figuratively speaking you have Hamlet doing a monologue through 85% of the play which is fine but not all at once.
You might be able to drop some stnzas and still make your point also but length doesn't scare me unless I for some reason end up in prison and I'm stuck with a well endowed cellmate that wants to make me his bitch.