ecargo6 Mar 2006

Oh crikey--I caught the wedding imagery but didn't tie this into it. Yeah, I like the wordplay. I even think the line sounds good, but I have trouble following it--Could the mist . . . to him avail (i.e., be of use to him)--is that what you mean? Maybe it's as simple as a comma after white and losing "seem"--"Could the mist, a flowing turn/ of white, by dawn avail/ him? [Since avail means "to be of use to," you don't really need the "to him" avail]. Yeah, make it work, good stuff here.