Dental Panic9 Mar 2006

'Every line a steppingstone,
good for climbing up and down.
Boy, is climbing fun, she says,
does it ever get you jazzed,
fine-tuned and ready for chords'

you almost had it there - shame the fifth line didn't make it.

using monster/monstrous - too much. The word gets deflated.

I think the story is okay but the ending is poor. As if you were through but the poem wasn't.