poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on Buried in the Booth (edit) by drnick.

Ranger30 Mar 2006

Yes, a very smooth edit. It works much better as a piece of prose. I feel that maybe in a couple of places you'd do well to add in an occasional shorter sentence to link the longer passages together a little more clearly; but see how other people read this first. Also, you could seperate the last bit from the rest:
'...the regulars left their tips

And he ordered himself his first drink.'