poemranker ::Replying

ReplyTo a comment on The Waiting Room by Sunny.

Dovina19 Apr 2006

I like the ambiguous ending. I think such an ending deserves tightness throughout. That would make it stronger, I think.

"These depictions are levitating inside my peripherals" could "depictions levitate."

"I recognize this room as a waiting room." -> "a waiting room."

concrete certainties are the same as just "certainties."

etc.