Ranger28 Apr 2006

Yes, I much prefer the ending to this edit. The last two lines are grand.
One slight grammatical point - line 15 ('your sweet peace my endless joy') needs either some punctuation or to be '...is my endless joy'. It probably holds up grammatically as it is, but it just feels wrong. Either way of remedying this would work without disrupting the rhythm, and would make me a happy reader ;-)
No other crits that I can see right now; good stuff!