ALChemy17 May 2006

Don't use stanzas in this poem. Lose the line spaces and just stick the whole thing together so it brings out the story quality of the poem better. "atop" not "a top", plus you've got alot of capital letters in the wrong place. Otherwise it's one of the best things you've written.

Ps. I have no idea what the hell Dovina is talking about. She always wants to downsize poems.