LilMsLadyPoet24 May 2006

The periods/punctuation needs work. (need one after endure?)etc.
You get spurts of rythm going, then lose it.
drop 'the' @ streets...that line's a tongue twister.
willing me to spell...?to cast spells?, and fate is my undoing? is that what is meant there? all as one sentence it doesn't make sense. I can see this written on a subway wall somewhere...