The story in here is good - from experience (partly/entirely)? I tend to find that lyrics are difficult to rate in purely written form; their effectiveness is substantially down to the music involved. The following song is the ultimate example of it - average poetry, but utterly stunning when set to music:
http://www.lyricscafe.com/p/porcupine_tree/061.htm
(beware popups...) for the lyrics, if you can download it, the band is Porcupine Tree and the song is Heartattack In A Layby.
**shameless plug over**
What's the deal with the title - 'weather poem'?