Ranger21 Sep 2006

Line 4 - reduce to just 'descend'
Line 22 - change round to 'He opens new doors' (sounds incredibly forced at the moment)
Last line...'big bad' is a little trite, this poem needs a killer endline to really knock us for six.

I have to say, though, I'm glad to see you posting again - it's good to be able to rely on someone to post lighthearted and all-round nice poetry :-)