Ranger15 Oct 2006

Sure, finality can have a degree of uncertainty to it. Even with death, maybe it's not the end. But in the poem you explicitly say 'and never read again', which has a sort of post-apocalyptic 'never ever, not under any circumstances has she, does she, or will she read. Not once.' I'd like to see that tone built to throughout.
I am not a poet. I barely count as an apprentice. But at the moment I'm going all-out crazy on metrics; the more I look for, talk about, and criticise other peoples' use of metre, the better I'll become at it. I'll probably sign up to eratosphere tomorrow, it looks a pretty good place to go for improving. I'll stay on the ranker as well, but probably worry less about posting proper critiques, and more about the fun stuff like renga-writing.