Ranger18 Jan 2007

POEME STATS:

Stanzas: 3
Lines: 12
Uses of 'the': 7
Uses of 'a': 4

Not that I'm criticising there, but you might want to borrow one of the mage's chisels?

'along the long' = yikes
'a sough of doubt' = sex on a light blue screen

Stanza two is super, so is the final line. Stanza one feels weaker than the rest, not that I know what to suggest. Maybe it's the brevity of line one. Everyone who says this is a lovely poem is right though.