richa26 Mar 2007

I don't think the cold water darkness simile works. You don't really breathe in darkness or cold water. Don't like how you've used 5 lines to say green red red yellow. 'And most of the time I am' doesn't appear to refer to anything. I like the bit about the fogs that occassionally descend on this city, the balance of fog. I really like the last verse too (bar the last line). There seem to be three themes here, the wandering in the fields, the past life, and the dissection fantasy. I'm not sure how they are linked though.