Skamper4 Nov 2007

I found reading without "then" at the beginning of the 10th line rolls easier. I would also give "very few" it's own line. Rhythm seems fine to me although my own brain wants to add 'on' between 'right' and 'out', end the line there and put 'and through' on it's own line, but I'm sure I'll get over that. Rhythm is such a personal thing, am curious now to see what others think...