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Sparkling Rust (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer

Drifting in the mental ocean... my nerve universe, thoughts spinning, going back to the beginning of my life. Vhs tape called memory is rewound back at high speed. My inner soul bleeds from the images flashing, like an old film. Cold metal sparkles from a rusted switch blade thrusted deep into flesh. Cut veins pour a stream of hot blood onto the floor... The last image of my brother twenty-nine and gone forever.

Jill Stockinger 21-Jan-21/1:07 PM
Ending is very powerful. Very sad.

1 point: you use "vhs tape called memory" and then you say "like and old film". They mean the same thing really, should change "like an old film" to something that differs more, I suggest.




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