god'swife1 Oct 2002

Show me the memories. Don't tell about memories. "Suddenly I shatterer. Striking the cold concrete reality of her/No longer desiring my words/ No longer craving my touch/ I lie broken./And she, with her Blah,blah blah,(description of her) and full of life moves on./ I belong to this silence/ I am frozen in this sorrow. I hope I'm not being to presumptious. I'm not implying this is the way the poem should be written, I'm just trying to give you an example of how you should play with the draft til it's as pretty as it can be. Then/They/My/I/Of must be avoided as much as possible. Show me what 's happening don't explain it to me.