limonade12 Oct 2002

The first stanza doesn't have the power of the second. The birdsongs, the house dog, the roommate are distant from the scene not in that they're not involved with the scene, but in that they don't seem real at all. To me, the way you present them makes them completely lifeless and irrelevant to the action. I would work on everything before "will wrestle from"

Why "dead shape"?