Mr Pig28 Feb 2003

Oh how delightful you have made a couple of amendments to the poem. I feel this may or may not help you. What you must try and engage here is the derelict open spaces and smells in the hospital, think of something fitting to connect that emptiness of the hospital corridors to the emptiness of ones emotions. If I ever walk in to a hospital the smell, and sounds always remind me of my late Aunt Violet. The last line is sweet young man but one thinks it would be beneficial for one to leave this poem a while and come back to it rabid with inspiration.
I bid you good day young sire.