Mr Pig1 Mar 2003

You have the beginnings of a sublime work let down only by an inconclusive ending. Now my dear boy try and focus on the ending, irony would fit like a golf glove. For example you detail most beautifully 'nature' and the representation of where you lost her (S1). What you need to do is carry that on taking that beauty then ending it most cruelly with the decadence of human nature. This needs to end in a crescendo of your sufferance, I feel one owes it to ones self to strive for perfection here as this metabolic potential to be a poets poem and that Sire if you are prepared to work on the end, would be a rare endorsement from myself...8