Blindproject2172 Apr 2003
Im not condoning hate, Im angry and I get lost in it. As soon as that happens the world convicts me "You call your self a Christian?" NO I call myself human. Im trying to follow my beliefs but its not easy (nothing is). You think that I actually like trying to be righteous, sometimes I dont even want to try, I want to go and do everything Ive been brought up to know is wrong. I wanna go kill every person who makes fun of my convictions, I want to curse out every guy who pushes me around, I want to not worry about sin and forgiveness and all the other Bible crap. But I look at the bigger picture, I see Loneliness and suicide, I dont want to live an empty life, I want to feel meaning and purpose. Something Ive never had until now..Look, I could argue all day until im blue in the face, but Im tired of it. Im tired of trying to prove myself all the time. Im not even going to retaliate anymore, there is 1 of me and a 100 of you. Ill just post my crap and pray for all you. I done want anymore enemies, Ive got enough at my school and my nieghborhood. Ya know why? Cause I wont smoke pot or steal, And you say that am intolerant? You say im a crusader, you call me a fag killer? Ive never hurt or hated anyone for disagreeing with me, I donât hate homosexuals, I donât hate people who disagree with me. I just tell people what I think because I donât want to see them in hell.