lunar3 May 2003

The first verse up to the last 2 lines are good, as are the last two verses but the second verse doesnt work really -the first line is good i dont think you need 'groan' in the second line. 'Song' and 'along' ryhme a bit too obviously too. But it is a very good idea and i like the structure and some of the lines are great! especialy the last 2 lines on verses 3 and 4. :o)