ecargo23 Jul 2003

Some really nice lines and the overall idea is poignant and handled pretty well. I'm not sure who you're talking to in the first stanza--the daughter, I assume? yourself?--or how it ties into the rest--releasing words and "releasing" a child? Needs a clearer connection. I think your ending would be stronger if you lopped off the last line and ended on 'world'. Minor stuff--use what you can. Well done!