Shuushin3 Nov 2003

"myriad" - danger, danger; tough word to pull off.

This is quite good:
"I remember the scent[s] of sin,
That lingered on my clothes and skin."

I could do without this telegraphing of meaning:
"Every late night drink of scotch alone in the dark,
To help me forget my cheating heart."

or this:
"With no-one to hold,
The fibres that held together my life,
Have been unthreaded."

but the image of squeezing a rose, thorns and all, is nice.

Other than those nits - something very workable. Maybe as a lyric using that second stanza [tweaked a bit] as a chorus?