writteninskin5 Aug 2002

I like the poem. I'm not bitchy or rude like most of the people I have seen on this site. The poem could use a little work, which is why i didn't give you a higher score. I wrote poetry similar to this when I was starting out years ago, and even know, one or two of this style will slip out. Perhaps if you added some punctuation in the right places, it would help give the poem a bit more "kick", so to speak. Many poets use punctuation to signify pauses, breaks, and stops. Good job though, I enjoyed it.