Shuushin5 Dec 2003

jail [cell]

walking + shut[ting], or walk and shut - pick one. better yet, "walk[ed]"

peircing s/b piercing

I dunno, the repetition didn't quite work for me although I like the *idea* of the repetition - it reminds me of a ghazal.

Maybe 1000 piercing nails isn't scary enough - I thought the lions were more so - a 1000 lions... hmmmm.