ShaNoN+96031748520 Dec 2003

And stop it shall? i dont know i can fullfill ya request fr critic i am not that gud...but i think each of us can help eachh other..
for starters:
1-"I'm trying to do the same with this bad memory" wud b better if u did away with 'with this bad', it kinda drags the idea.
2-"The grave is taking out the sad" i think i understand what you mean - but a little rearranging cud/might make it better
On the whole the piece aint super nor is it bad..enough fr me 2 give u a 10 atleast..
:o) TC