zodiac25 Jan 2004

Good as always. Comments: 1.) the comma after 'water' shouldn't be there. Maybe you could put a line break there instead. 2.) there should be some kind of punctuation after the end of the first stanza 3.) 'a sunlight' is weird when just 'they were sunlight' would be just as good. You get a nine because, though it's not perfect, it's better than all the crap getting unwarranted 9s and 10s on this site.