<~>12 Aug 2002

i'm glad your teachers like your work, but being 'appropriate' is not necessarily something you want to strive for: "be a good little girl and write 'appropriate' poetry." why not stretch the limits? why not make people think, instead of placating them? since you asked--well, as far as poetry goes, this can be classified as 'free verse', and that's a loose way of saying that it expresses an idea in other-than-prose. other than that, it employs no other poetic devices: similie, metaphor, allusion, alliteration, rhyme, meter, etc. and, generally, we like to learn something new when we read a poem. that's the beauty of it: a condensed idea that expands in your thoughts the more you turn it over. you've not given us anything here; you've not compared this love to anything else to give us a twist on it; you've not described it in any way that is remarkable. you have these feelings for this person; distill them, refine your description of them. think of a poem as a lump of coal that becomes a diamond--you start out with a LOT of coal, and time and pressure condense it down to one little tiny spot of brilliance that blinds you so that you want to see it again and again. it's a lot of time and effort, and often a long wait before anything of value is produced. but, people seem to think that diamonds are of value. so, i suggest that you take this vein of coal and mine it deeply. you have the feelings; oerhaps you do not have the depth of experience that older people have, but that does not invalidate what you do have. learn from your experiences. find the heart of the matter. make that the poem. there is so much fluff out there. make your words worth reading. does that make sense?